question

Why is it impossible to find a maple bar doughnut on the East Coast?

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Aaaaaaand I’m out of the cave. What can I say? The pendulum swung back to the side where old Brainstorm was more a hassle than a whatever it is the rest of the time when it’s awesome. Then not writing begets not writing, and the snowball gathers mass. Jay Smooth says it best.

That’s not to say that I wasn’t inspired at least once daily to rave about something or more likely complain pointedly on here. But at those moments I was on the subway or in the midst of some mundane office thing.

Finally, it took an absolutely perfect evening to end the sequestering.

Last night, for the third time in my life, the Phillies WON THE NATIONAL LEAGUE PENNANT AND ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!! The first time was the year of my birth, 1980, when the Phillies WON the World Series. We have pictures somewhere of me as an infant in a Phillies onesie. Then the second time was 1993 when John Kruk and Lenny Dykstra who only had one nut were on the team and Wild Thing Mitch Williams blew the series against Toronto. I was in the Poconos that weekend and watched the final heart-breaking game from a cabin near Jim Thorpe. Then last year they had their year-end coup when the Mets buckled. But last year, for some reason, even though I swore by Rollins and Victorino, I didn’t expect them to get the division title and was plenty satisfied with first in the NL East.

But now, it’s different. Last night’s game just went like Swiss clockwork. JRoll lead-off – BAM. Then follow that up with two hits, get to second and third, walk Victorino, and let Howard, Burrell, and even Ruiz knock them home with bloopers that slip by. Add to that the Dodgers being totally rattled and unable to even hold onto the ball in the infield while the Phillies lurch and flee toward home every time. Wow.

To quote a Haiku I wrote this morning for a coworker (for whom I occasionally write perfectly platonic Haikus),

Phillies WORLD SERIES
plus Obama wins debate
fresh start, hate-free day!

That last line was because we’d been hating pretty hardcore the previous afternoon. But this Haiku explains the OTHER reason last night rocked my house. The Obama-McCain debate could not have possibly gone any better. Obama was smart, quick, believably bemused and righteously indignant with McCain. McCain in absolute contrast was bumbling, sniggering, uncomfortable and potentially coked up. McCain went there on every issue that he probably shouldn’t have went there on. Ayers, the born alive amendment, ACORN, even Fanny and Freddie. Remember them? Really – COULD McCain have done worse? I was too busy today to really look hard at the commentary or polls, but I have to assume McCain can’t WIN this, right? The American people have to be pickin up what he’s layin down, right?

Right. I’m, starting to feel real real good. These next few weeks are gonna be something.

More to come soon.

PHILLIES

Beat the brewers!

  

Jimmy Rollins led off the game with a home run, Pat Burrell connected twice and Jayson Werth added a solo shot Sunday to lead the Phillies to a 6-2 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers that clinched their first trip to the NLCS since 1993.

After winning this best-of-five playoff series in four games, the Phillies next face the Los Angeles Dodgers. Game 1 is Thursday in Philadelphia.

“I like our chances,” manager Charlie Manuel said. “I think we can beat anyone in the National League, really.”

Overshadowed by the home run barrage was a gem by midseason addition Joe Blanton, who held the Brewers to one run after an eight-day layoff. Burrell backed him with a three-run shot and a solo drive, breaking out of a playoff slump.

“I couldn’t be more thrilled. You know, I don’t think it’s actually sunk in all that much yet,” said Burrell, who has been with the Phillies since they drafted him in 1998.

The Phillies partied in their clubhouse, dousing each other with bottles of champagne and cans of beer. Rollins, who wore swimming goggles, grinned as he darted around the clubhouse, looking for unsuspecting — not to mention dry — teammates.

The Dodgers and Philadelphia have met for the NL pennant three times before. Los Angeles won in 1977 and ’78, while the Phillies took the flag in 1983.

This, plus McCain pulls out of Michigan?
I’m gettin excited…

Letterman on Palin

Letterman’s not been able to contain himself lately. His debate recap is ridic. Watch the series of outtakes at the end. Honestly, SO FUNNY.

BIDEN

WINS!

No big surprise here. Biden delivered the debate performance of his life last night. To use Katie Couric’s suggested headline to describe Palin, “She Didn’t Embarass Herself.” Except she kind of did. She was miles above the standard set by her last few blundering appearances on tv, but a performance worthy of the office of VP it was not.

Biden, on the other hand, couldn’t have been stronger, more passionate, classier, more sensible or more likeable.

PHILLIES NL EAST CHAMPIONS 2ND YEAR IN A ROW

Step 1 in this magical season accomplished. PHILLIES GOT THE PENNANT!!

World Series is next! Then Obama in the White House!

FALL CLASSIC 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DEBATE 1

As the press release we prepared at work yesterday in advance of the debate, was titled, “Obama Knocks it Out of the Park!” Another title could have been “How is this election close?”

For the first half hour I thought Jim Lehrer was the most impressive, demanding that both candidates talk to each other and own up to how the economic crisis would change their governing. Neither could really say for sure, but Joe Biden, speaking post-debate on CBS explained best in saying these are unprecedented times and no one can tell what the future of the economy will hold. The closer brings it home.

I’d been waiting for Obama to tie the economic crisis to the $10 billion/month war in Iraq. He nailed it when he finally got to it, 34 minutes in.

When the conversation shifted to foreign affairs—McCain’s supposed strong suit—McCain looked the fool—“meeting without preconditions will legitimate Ahmedinejad,” “Senator Obama doesn’t know the difference between a tactic and a strategy.” What? He just sounded annoyed and irrelevant. Obama gave McCain the pounding of the night when he schooled him on his mistakes in Iraq:

You said quick and easy
You said we would find the weapons of mass destruction
You said we’d be greeted as liberators
You said Shia and Sunni had no historical

The he followed up with the central question we need to ask about starting this war:
WAS THIS WISE?

As the debate went on, Obama looked more and more presidential. He even turned the meeting with rogue regimes argument in his favor by saying as President he’d reserve the right to meet with whoever the hell he damn well pleased.

McCain, this time he both twitched AND tried to scare the Jews in reminding us that Ahmedinejad called Israel as “stinking corpse.”

But McCain’s in the weeds. My own personal Nielson ratings would have McCain’s dial way low down on the screen, Obama’s way up top. No surprises tonight. Other than the perplexing wonder at how McCain is only 5 points down nationally.

OMFG

Really? VICE PRESIDENT?

the economic crisis, in laymen’s terms

For those you, who like me, don’t really understand what the hell is going on with Wall Street and the impending economic doom, there is a really great piece in the London Review of Books that describes things in detail. It’s quite long, but good.

palin item of the day

Last night I thought that I was finally over Palin. I was even going to write about it today. But then I saw a news item on People.com  that I couldn’t resist. They are really beginning to scrape the bottom of the barrel for new insights into Palin’s ability to be VP. My favorite:

“She’s adaptable. Palin used to wear Mary Kay lipstick, but she now prefers MAC.”

Wait…. Doesn’t that make her a flip-flopper?

Seriously though, at some point this insane fascination with Palin has got to end. I mean, really, the VP is only a figurehead. Just ask John Adams. The way they’ve put her in the forefront as if she is the one running against Obama is ridiculous.

I almost feel sorry for McCain. He’s like this teacher I had in high school who was fresh out of college and desperate to become a member of the “in” crowd that he obviously had not been a part of during his own high school days. In his desperation, he went a little nuts – started drinking with the students, allegedly having an affair. In the end he lost his job and his wife. I think that McCain started to realize how unpopular he was after seeing the popularity of Palin explode. Now he’s desperate. And going a little nuts.

PHILLIES

 

Wall Street ain’t the only thing crashing! The Phillies flew past the Mets tonight taking first place in the NL East! the Mets are stumbling. They’re burning. And the Phillies are sprinting full speed ahead with Ryan Howard exploding all over mid-September. I’m lovin it.

Friday AM

1) I’m not sick of Palin yet. I can’t get enough. My favorite Palin story of the day comes from the WSJ titled “Palin’s Style Sparks Buying Frenzy.” Not only are people rushing to buy her choice of shoes (which the company says btw are geared toward women in their early-20’s who like to go clubbing) but also Palin inspired wigs “ranging in price from $100 to the ‘Bargain Sarah Palin’ wig for $46.”

This is the sort of VP we need – someone who can spark the economy through fashion. 

2) Other Palin insights came from the Early Show this morning where they had a body language expert critique her interview w/ Gibson. I couldn’t see the segment b/c our analog tv reception wasn’t coming in clear (I really gotta get that converter box) but I could hear. I learned that Palin slouched, was defensive, unconfident, nodded yes when saying no, clenched her fists, and moved her arms too much making it difficult to tell when she was saying something important. Overall the expert gave her a 5 out of 10.

3) We watched the Forum on Public Service speeches from Panino Spiritivo after Columbia wouldn’t let anyone not smart enough to go there into the courtyard to watch on the big screen. Most of McCain’s speech was a blur b/c I tend to not hear anything when he talks. I can see his mouth moving but its like nothing registers. My favorite though was when he said that mayors have THE toughest job in America. Obama later summed up the challenges of being a mayor – “they have to make sure that potholes get filled and trees get trimmed.”

4) I’m going to go to one of Target’s pop-up designer stores over my lunch hour today. They designed 4 Manhattan storefronts to look like bodegas and are selling all their designer stuff before shipping them to the regular stores. They’re only open for 3 days, which seems pretty ridiculous. Not really economy of scales type thinking. But I’m excited anyway.

Wednesday Night

1. I’m so over Sarah Palin. I’m over hearing about how she’s the magic bullet. I’m over mentioning her name and devoting space on this thing to her. I’m over McCain’s new ad that says Obama “airdropped a mini army” of rabid lawyers on Alaska to investigate poor Sarah. I’m over the state of Alaska in general. I’m over the whole Palin clan except maybe little Piper licking her hand to slick down baby Trig’s hair.

So I’m taking a hiatus from the Palin cacophony.

2. McCain’s great-great-grandfather? fought for the Confederacy and may have owned a slave who was the mother of bluesman Mississippi John Hurt. Damn.

3. Ron Paul spurns John McCain’s plea for an endorsement.

4. I just started watching Gossip Girl. It’s like a combo of the NYTimes wedding pages and Perez Hilton.

5. Perez Hilton btw has some good stuff right now – Ellen’s wedding video and Anderson Cooper appearing on Sesame Street hosting a news show called GNN.

6. Don’t forget to watch Obama on Letterman tonight.

7. Last but not least, happy happy belated birthday to tlantz, who has officially entered her Saturn return. This year Saturn makes it back around to the exact position it was in in 1979. What happens when Saturn returns? Saturn is the Roman version of Kronos, my personal Greek mythological character of choice. He was born of Gaia (earth) and Uranus (sky), who together gave rise to three races of offspring: the Hecatonshires, the Cyclops, and the Titans. Uranus hated the Hecatonshires, who had 50 heads and 50 hands – so he would place them under Gaia. Gaia appealed to all of her children to help the Hecatonshires, and only Kronos responded, rising up and castrating his father Uranus. Yeah. Kronos and the Titans came to rule the universe. Kronos is the father to Zeus and the other original Olympian gods. Except Kronos, having prophesized that he’d suffer the same fate as his father, attempted to devour Zeus, who was then hidden away on the island of Crete until he was old and strong enough to rise up and murder his father. When Kronos died, universal power shifted from the Titans to the gods.

So Saturn returning indicates some complicated shit. Saturn is about the difference between action and inaction. And about consequences. Saturn was a Roman blend of the Greek Kronos and an agricultural god so he represents balancing forces and reaping what you’ve sown. It’s like Saturn coming back to look at the accomplishments of the first phase of you life and make you decide where to direct the next phase. But no pressure, lantz.

Anyway whatever, last night’s birthday celebrations were awesomeness.

Rough Week

Now over.
This is for Eric:

Palin Convention Intro

Lucky for the viewing public this got scrapped from the program last night. Is that the music from “JAG?”:

Almost Over…

McCain’s about to come on and Alfonse D’Amato is talking to NY1 about how we need a strong leader to prevent Iran from attacking Israel, blah blah blah… I’m only half-listening, until he actually said “and that’s how you prevent a HOLOCAUST.”

Vote for McCain. He’ll prevent the Holocaust.

I should have stuck to my guns and sworn off the Convention for the night.

Continuing Coverage of RNC Clusterfuck 2008

WOW. Crazy time at the crazy house. They’re all so damned mean and bitter. Giuliani’s huffing and sniggering like the devil incarnate but creepier.

Then SARAH PALIN – oh my god lady. Bitch much? I feel bad that her kids had to sit there and watch their mom be so vicious and spiteful. She WOULD NOT QUIT with the full frontal attacks on Obama. She even pulled out the “McCain is the only one of the three who’s served in the military” card. Just vicious.

What’s up with this attitude? And who does it appeal to? What do they bring to the table other than a “we were right all along” chip on their shoulder and a “vote for us and we’ll get ‘em back” mentality, and I guess the “‘em” is Democrats? But what are they getting us back for? They’ve wielded complete power over all three branches of government for most of the last eight years and roundly had their way with the country. What do they have to be bitter about?

This whole sinister scene of a nasty speaker egging on that hissing and cackling crowd made me cringe. The way I cringe in frustration when arguing with the most terrible, pompous LYING republicans I know. Tonight was like that.

Ain’t no bright future and progressive policies and forward movement with these motherfuckers. Their well has been poisoned. Venom and vitriol is all they can draw.

Favorite Topic #17: Rachel Maddow

The NYPost yesterday had a clip saying that MSNBC has assigned a “glam-squad” to remake new talkshow host Rachel Maddow in a more feminine mold.

Maddow already looks way more girly on the TV than she does on the YouTube or in real life. On MSNBC she’s got the smoky eyes and the senator suit markedly lacking a collared shirt underneath. Plus she’s sans super cute Drew Carey glasses. I wonder, how much further could they go? How far will she let them go?

If Rachel’s totally cool with the makeover, then this point is moot and I take it all back. She has said that without makeup on TV she felt like Nixon debating Kennedy. But I suspect otherwise, mostly because I like to project my own emotions onto those in the public eye. But why can’t MSNBC just let her be the un-made-up nerdy-looking lesbian with the cute haircut and the boys’ clothes? Um, that look’s the bomb. And wouldn’t someone looking different than all the other newspeople like, draw viewers? I guess if you want to be on the TV, these are the concessions you make. As Maddow herself said, “It is very easy to get homogenized by the TV machine and come out like sausage.”

Republicans’ Turn

The Republican Convention. What a downer.

It’s like an awkward wake at a cheap funeral parlor for a person nobody liked. I didn’t pay any attention last night so like most Americans tonight was my entre into the Republican “festivities.” It kicked off with Laura Bush appearing like a character out of “Mad Men” and vacantly monotoning some biting remarks about Obama and Democrats in general. Then George W. came on via satellite with a reminder that presidenting is hard, but he’s looked into McCain’s eyes.

Joe Lieberman stared into the camera and implored Democrats and Independents to vote for the white guy McCain. He invoked Clinton then repeated that this is a time to put country above party. But what olive branch has McCain extended to anyone in the center lately? All his advances have been to the right. Sarah Palin is a direct appeal to the right wing base and the official GOP platform adopted yesterday is a joke – pro-offshore drilling, closing the door on immigrants, and in favor of constitutional amendments to ban both gay marriage and abortion. The Family Research Council called the platform “the most conservative, pro-life and pro-family platform in Republican party history.” On climate change, the document says we shouldn’t fall for “the doomsday climate change scenarios peddled by aficionados of centralized command-and-control government.”

Wow. Doomsday scenarios peddled by aficionados of centralized command-and-control government. I almost admire their style.

And throughout this clusterfuck, everyone’s smiling along like this is the way the nominating convention precipitating the most important election in a generation is supposed to go.

Whereas last week the press scrutinized and criticized the Democrats as if the fate of the world hung on every intonation, so far this week the press, as Rachel Maddow says, is rounding McCain and the Republicans up to the nearest thing that isn’t utterly humiliating.

Throughout the DNC, some form of Hillary-Obama-drama made it into many more news reports than were warranted; it seemed like every disaffected Hillary supporter who’d talk got her quote picked up. The story of the week was how divided the Democratic Party was. Yet tonight we had Bush via satellite, not even in the same city as the rest of his party. It’s almost sickening to think how relieved they must have been about Gustav.

But it doesn’t stop there — divisions in the ranks of the Republicans also came in the form of 10,000 people attending the Ron Paul Rally for the Revolution today. While Ron Paul as a write-in probably won’t take a lot of votes, Libertarian Party candidate Bob Barr (whose website looks strikingly like Obama’s, right down to the Gotham font), is doing not so bad right now. Barr, running with Wayne Allyn Root, is polling at 8% in Ohio, 10% in Colorado and 11% in New Hampshire.

Third party candidates can screw with shit. Perot, Nader…Barr? Barr’s gotta attract more people leaning toward McCain than toward Obama, right? Maybe Democrats should somehow channel energy toward bolstering Barr/Root?

Banana Clips for Sarah Palin!!!